Posts for tag: self-love
Valentine’s Day is a day usually celebrated with someone whom you love. Whether this love is romantic, platonic, familial, or the love between you and your furry best friend, the day is recognized as a day of love. Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but this doesn’t mean that the celebration of love needs to end. Since you’ve just celebrated shared love, why not switch gears for a moment and celebrate self-love?
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” -Anonymous
It is often the case that we give more love to others than we do to ourselves. We neglect to love the one person who we will spend every second of the entirety of our lives with. What is often not realized is that the more we love ourselves and strengthen the relationship that we have with ourselves, the more capable we are of sharing our love with others.
“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purposes and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts”- Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D, Psychology Today
The seven steps that Dr. Khoshaba prescribes are to become mindful, act on what you need rather than what you want, practice good self-care, set boundaries, protect yourself, forgive yourself, and to live intentionally. Imagine if you treated yourself with the unconditional love that you bestow on the people in your life that are dearest to you? Taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish.
You’ve likely heard the claim that you can’t love another person until you love yourself first. And well this is not entirely true; the significance of this claim is that our ability to love comes from within. There are endless ways to express self-love.
Taking care of your physical self by eating healthy, exercising, getting sufficient sleep, staying hydrated, maintaining your oral health, keeping up with annual medical check-ups, and just listening to the signs your body gives you is self-love. Taking care of your spiritual self through meditation, yoga, spending time in nature, journaling, and practicing gratitude is self-love.
Here are a few simple ways you can start practicing self-love today:
Create a gratitude journal
Implement a “treat yourself” day
Make a list of all the things that you like about yourself
Pay it forward
Go for a long walk
Learn something new
Let go of what no longer serves you
Clean out your closet
Take a nap
Make a cup of tea and read
Designated a “no screens” time
Get a massage
Write a letter to yourself and don’t open it for one year
Take a hot bath
Create a self-love mantra such as “I love and accept me for me”
When we take care of ourselves, we are better suited to take care of others, and that’s really how the world goes around. As the Beatles once sang, “All you need is love.”
“Replace fear-motivated behavior with love-motivated behavior. Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside of you, you can face any threat because your inner strength in invulnerable to fear.” Deepak Chopra
When you think of your life, in this very moment, is it the life that you imagined you would be living? If it’s not, then why isn’t it? And, where did you imagine yourself to be? This can be applied to any aspect of your life: your career, your partner, your home location, your other relationships, your health, your time, your diet, your body, your mind, etcetera. Your life is what you make it and your journey through your life is all based on the decisions that you make.
More often than not, when we find ourselves unhappy or unsatisfied with a certain aspect of our life it is because the decision we made that got us there was fear-motivated. This doesn’t mean that you were physically shaking in your booties when you made a particular decision, it means that you chose a path that you deemed safer because of the fear of failure, fear being hurt (again), fear of disappointing others, or fear of repeating the past.
A life lived in fear though is a life lived in the past. And if you are living in the past, you can’t possibly be in the present that you imagined. So, instead of making fear-motivated decisions, make ones that stem from love. When we make decisions based on love, we are making decisions that are based on the present. It is okay to make mistakes. Let those mistakes stay where they belong though, in the past, and make new decisions based on the now. Our happiness is dependent on living in the only time that is actually relevant. Your inner strength will abound from switching your motivational force from something negative to something positive.
Unconditional self-love, love for others, and love for our Mother Earth is more powerful than any other force. When you live in love, you will find that you are living the life that you imagined you would be living.
“Don’t contaminate your body with toxins either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.” Deepak Chopra
We only get one body. It is this body that not only carries our soul, but also makes our life on this earth possible. Our bodies are quite resilient. Our bodies are there for us even when we don’t treat them particularly well. Your relationship with your body however should be one of love, acceptance, respect, and nurture. Your relationship with yourself, which includes your physical body, will eventually whither and crumble away with perpetual abuse, malnourishment, and excessive toxins of any sort.
Our health is everything. It is easy to take for granted our health while we have it, but only when it is compromised do we realized how important it really is. Save yourself the struggle, if you can, and realize now, while you are healthy how valuable that state of being truly is. It is true that some things are beyond our control, but for the most part we actually have great control over our physical and emotional self. For starters, you have complete control over what you put into your body.
It is far easier to remain in tack than to be in need of repair. Broken bodies come from bad choices. Continually fueling your body with fake food (over processed, preservative soaked, chemical heavy, and can’t even pronounce the ingredients kind of food) is linked to all sorts of health maladies. We wonder why more than half of us are overweight, more than a third of us will be diagnosed with some type of cancer in our lifetime, and great deal of us are fatigued, stressed out, and unhappy on a regular basis. You are what you eat. You are what you decide to do.
Toxins come in all different forms from foods, beverages, alcohol, drugs, people, lifestyle choices, and careers, just to name a few sources. Toxins are a choice. The decision to purge your body and lifestyle of toxins is a personal decision that will have individual results, but the results will be positive. You are capable of extraordinary things. Your life should be nothing short of extraordinary. Get rid of whatever it is that is weighing you down and holding you back. When we take care of our bodies, our bodies will take care of us.
“The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.” Deepak Chopra
Misery loves company. Jealousy loves another jealous ear. Nothing good comes from hate. We project our own insecurities, desires, disappointments, and failures by superficially judging and dismissing others. These deep-rooted reasons why we feel aversions to certain people are standing in the way of our true happiness potential. Why do we worry so much about what other people are doing, what other people have, what other people believe in, and what other people look like?
If we were all the same, the world would be terribly dull. Our diversity shouldn’t cause us to project hate, but rather open-minded and curious inquisition. We can learn something from one another. Our individual efforts and accomplishments are what has created the good side of the world and has the power to shape the volatile and hate-fueled side. When we stop hating ourselves, we will stop projecting hate onto others. Love is everything. Self-love is not only important for the self, but for the world.
Sometimes the hardest person to confront face to face is yourself. However, it is when we truly look within ourselves that we are capable of making vast discoveries about the person that we are, we want to be, and that we are capable of being. The focus should be inward and not outward. The goal of total self-knowledge is accomplishable when we decide to accomplish it. The energy spent wishing or wanting to be someone else, look like someone else, have what someone else has, is only inhibiting your true happiness.
Eliminate hate from within, never project it outwardly onto others, and exchange the negative for the lightness of love. Happiness will follow.